At SOF (SpotOnFries) Incorporated headquarters (www.spotonfries.fri), an emergency meeting was underway. A disturbing email had arrived. Someone was claiming that machine-made fries could be every bit as good as fries made by human hands. This was potentially devastating news for the entire authentic potato community.
The meeting was immediately adjourned, and the AI (Algorithmic Immersed) Policy Team headed for the nearest chip shop to investigate. They ordered four portions of fries with mayonnaise (the fake one, actually).
The first bite caused some confusion. The fries were magnificent. Golden and crisp on the outside, soft and streaming… sorry, I mean steaming on the inside. Perfectly salted. Even the mayonnaise was excellent.
“These may be the best fries I’ve ever had,” said someone from Agrorithmic Recommendations.
The others nodded and took another bite. Then someone from Authenticity & Potato-Related Artist Relations happened to look behind the counter.
“Wait a minute.”
Everyone stopped chewing.
“Who cut these potatoes?”
The owner pointed at a stainless-steel machine. “The machine.”
“And who fried them?”
“The fryer.”
“Automatically?”
“Yes.”
An uncomfortable silence fell. One employee slowly put down his little artificial fork.
“So these fries weren’t actually made by a human?”
“I selected the potatoes,” said the owner. “I decide which variety we use, how thick they’re cut, how long they’re pre-cooked, the temperature of the oil, how much salt—”
“But you didn’t cut them by hand?”
“No.”
“And you didn’t personally hold them in the hot oil?”
“No. That seemed unwise.”
The team stared in horror at their half-empty trays. The best fries they had ever eaten turned out to be fake fries.
Fortunately, someone from Fried Transparency knew exactly what to do. He took out a marker and wrote on every tray:
⚠️ MACHINE-REALIZED FRIES
SOF Incorporated is committed to supporting authentic human fry artists.
“There,” he said with relief. “Now the customer can make an informed choice.”
The employee from Agrorithmic Recommendations looked at his last fry. Five minutes ago, it had been delicious. Somehow, it tasted different now.
“We probably shouldn’t recommend these anymore,” he said.
“Why not?”
“To protect human fry artists.”
The owner pointed at himself. “But I am a human fry artist.”
That required another emergency meeting.
Meanwhile, a customer walked in. He ordered fries, took the tray and tasted one. His face lit up.
“God, these are good.”
Someone from SOF Incorporated hurried over. “Excuse me, sir. Before you continue, we feel you should know that those potatoes were cut and fried by machines.”
The customer stopped. He looked at his fries, then at the SpotOnFries team, then back at his fries. He picked up another one, dipped it generously in mayonnaise (still the fake one) and smiled…
“Well, it’s the tasting, not the cooking, that makes my day. I’m glad it was recommended by a friend. I’ll recommend it too.”
…and ate it all.
Suspect fry fraud? Reportato™: reportato@spotonfries.fri